"Is that all you care about?" she said. "You think that's why I left with you?"
"I am male," I said. "Hello? That's what males care about."
"Not all males," she said.
"Well, I'm male. And I'm pretty much horny all the time."
"Great. That does not make me feel particularly special," she said. "I think I'm leaving now. Goodbye."
She started to walk away. I started to laugh. "Oh, god," I said. "Special."
She stopped and turned around.
I said, "You are so full of shit."
"What the fuck," she said.
"So why were you hitting on every guy in the bar, if you're so into everything being all 'special'?"
"I was not," she said.
She walked back over and punched me in the stomach.
She was over six feet tall, one of those tall Amazon women I've been favouring recently. I punched her back just as hard.
A scuffle ensued, as they say.
She was swinging at me without really landing anything. She tried to grab my shirt, but I knocked her arm away and stepped in close and caught her from behind and held her in a full nelson.
I leaned in while she struggled and whispered in her ear, taunting her.
"If you wanted someone to make you feel 'special,' you'd go hang out with your grandmother," I said. "I think what you were looking for was some hot sex. Isn't that right?"
She started making little squirmy noises, so I let her go. She spun around to face me and stood there, panting.
"Why did you turn into such an asshole," she said. She was breathing hard. We both were.
She took a couple steps toward me and reached down and started feeling my cock through my pants. All of a sudden we were kissing again.
I grabbed her other arm and twisted it around behind her back and used it to pull her in closer. She made a little noise. "Mmm, that hurts," she said. Her eyes were closed. She was pressed up against me, still with her hand on my crotch.
Just then a couple of cops happened upon our little tryst. Gave me quite a jolt. They seemed to appear from nowhere, out of the North End summer night.
My job was to explain to the police that the two of us were just good friends, ha ha. It took a bit of persuading.
As the cops walked away, I considered asking them if I could borrow a set of handcuffs. But one of them was still looking back at me and giving me a dirty look. So I didn't.
Now where were we.