better boners through science
The Viagra Lab reminds me of what I imagine jail would be like: keep your head down, put in your time and try not to point an erection at anybody. I scarcely spoke to any of the other 30-odd "volunteers" the whole time.
Partly it was because everyone was French and for some reason I wasn't in a hurry to out myself as an Anglo. There was one guy I sort of met. I was standing behind him in line to get a blood sample taken and we were chatting a bit.
The television was showing a brawl or something at a tennis game. "Big deal," he said in English. "In hockey you see this every day, you see fights. Not something that will ever make it on the news."
I said, "Someday I'd like to see a fight break out at a golf game."
This got a guffaw out of him. "Yeah!" he said. "And it was the black guy that started it!"
I didn't really know what to make of that comment. Was it some kind of weird Tiger Woods reference or something? I just stood there and scratched my head and avoided eye contact with the guy.
After that, I didn't try to socialize with anyone at the boner lab.
Everyone's wondering what's it like to get paid to sit around and have a hard-on. It's really really not like that. There's not much time for sitting around and I'm too busy getting pricked to think about pricking.
I was never one of those people who get really squeamish around needles. But you start to get tired of stainless steel after you've been raped in the vein nineteen times by a metal mosquito.
I didn't notice any side effects whatsoever from the real Viagra last week, but something tells me the experimental stuff is not yet ready for prime time. Here I am at six in the morning--
Here I am a couple hours later with a bunch of experimental drugs going on--
This picture's hilarious... I don't do drugs, so I'm not used to looking like total shit. I had a weird headache, with a bunch of pressure at the base of my skull, also I was having the odd dizzy spell and the fluorescent lights in the lab seemed painfully bright to me at times. There were a few guys who looked way worse than I did. Shivering with pale faces and sunken eyes, and looking like the living dead, and so on.
I'm pretty sure I don't even have a boner in that photo.
By the time the blood test schedule slowed down enough for me to try to do my own personal, uh, experimental Viagra "test," the drug had already been in my system six hours--well past its supposed window of potency. I managed to grab a few minutes of alone-time in the bathroom off the main room but trying to jerk off while a bunch of French guys keep knocking on the door is not conducive to a prolonged investigation.
In case you happen to have a purely scientific interest, my cock didn't really feel any different than usual. I busted one off pretty quickly and wiped my hands with a premoistened towelette and that was that. It just felt like a day in the life.